First Confession: What to Expect in the Catholic Church

If you are preparing for your first confession in the Catholic Church, here is the short answer: you will meet a priest, usually in a small room or a confessional, make the sign of the cross, tell him how long it has been since your last confession (or that this is your first), say your sins simply and honestly, listen to a short Scripture reading and some counsel, pray an act of contrition, receive absolution, and be given a small penance to do afterwards. It usually takes ten to fifteen minutes. The priest has heard thousands of confessions and will not be shocked. Nothing you say can be repeated to anyone — that is the seal of confession, and it binds the priest absolutely.

If you were baptised as a Catholic, this will be your first confession before your first Communion. If you are an adult coming into the Church, you will normally make it during preparation. Either way, the goal is not to perform well. The goal is to meet the mercy of God, who already knows everything you are about to say.

What actually happens, step by step?

You can go to the published confession times at your parish, or ask the priest for an appointment, which is often easier for a first confession because you will not feel rushed. You may sit face to face or kneel behind a screen. Both are normal, and you may choose either.

The usual shape is this. The priest greets you. You make the sign of the cross and say something like, Bless me, Father, for I have sinned; this is my first confession. Then you tell him your sins. You do not need long explanations or a story. Name the sin plainly, and if you know roughly how often it happened, say so. If you are unsure whether something was a sin, say that too. If you forget something, you can mention it next time.

When you have finished, you say, I am sorry for these and all my sins. The priest may then offer a short word of encouragement or a Scripture verse. He will give you a penance — often a few prayers, sometimes an act of kindness or restitution. You then pray an act of contrition, either in your own words or a traditional form. He extends his hand and speaks the words of absolution. You answer, Amen. He may say, Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, and you answer, His mercy endures for ever. Then you leave, do your penance, and go in peace.

If you are nervous, it is completely acceptable to tell the priest at the start that this is your first confession and you are not sure what to do. He will guide you through it.

What should I actually say?

Keep it simple and specific. You might say that you lied to your parents about where you were going, or that you have been looking at pornography, or that you have been harsh and impatient with your wife, or that you missed Mass on Sundays without a good reason, or that you have been carrying resentment against someone for years. You are not there to argue your case or to explain why it was understandable. You are there to name the truth and hand it over.

Two things help. First, examine your conscience beforehand. Many parishes have a short examination-of-conscience leaflet based on the Ten Commandments or the Beatitudes. Read it slowly and ask the Holy Spirit to show you what needs saying. Second, do not bury the thing you most want to hide. That is usually the very thing that needs to be said, and saying it is where the freedom comes.

Scripture is honest about this. David prayed,

Then I acknowledged my sin to You and did not hide my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD”—and You forgave the guilt of my sin. — Psalm 32:5 (BSB)

And John writes to believers,

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. — 1 John 1:9 (BSB)

Why confess to a priest instead of only to God?

This is the question most people ask, and it deserves a straight answer. Catholic Christians hold that Christ gave His apostles authority to forgive sins in His name, and that this authority continues in the Church through the ordained ministry. The words usually cited are in John’s Gospel, where Jesus breathes on the disciples and gives them the Holy Spirit, telling them that if they forgive anyone’s sins, they are forgiven, and if they withhold forgiveness, it is withheld (John 20:22-23). James also tells believers to confess their sins to one another and pray for one another (James 5:16). On this reading, the priest is not a mediator between you and God in the way Christ is. He is a servant through whom Christ’s own forgiveness is spoken aloud to you.

Protestant Christians read these same passages differently. They hold that confession is made directly to God, that Christ alone is our mediator, and that no human priest is needed to pronounce forgiveness. Many Protestant churches still practise confession — privately to God, and sometimes corporately in worship — and they take James 5 seriously as mutual confession and prayer. This site follows the historic Protestant reading, while recognising that Catholic and Orthodox Christians have held the sacramental practice since the earliest centuries.

Both traditions agree on the essentials: sin is real, God is merciful, and forgiveness is found in Christ crucified and risen. If you are a Roman Catholic preparing for first confession, the sacrament is the ordinary way you receive that forgiveness, and this article is not a substitute for it.

Is the confession really private?

The seal of confession is absolute. A priest may not reveal what he hears in confession to anyone, for any reason, including under threat of his own life. He may not refer to it later, even obliquely. This is not a policy that can be adjusted; it is a serious obligation in Catholic teaching, and it exists to protect you.

That means you can speak plainly. You do not need to manage the priest’s opinion of you. He is not there to grade you. He is there to listen, to counsel, and to speak the words of absolution.

What if I am not Catholic, or not sure I want to go?

If you are not a Catholic Christian, you are not expected to make a sacramental confession. You can still bring your sins directly to God in prayer, honestly and specifically, and rest on the promise of 1 John 1:9. If you have wronged another person, Scripture also calls you to go to them and make it right (Matthew 18:15).

If you are a Catholic who has been away for years, the same steps apply. You can tell the priest roughly how long it has been. He will not scold you. The story of the prodigal son is in the Bible for a reason.

If you are simply anxious, that is normal. Most people are nervous before a first confession. The nerves usually disappear within the first minute. If the anxiety is severe or has been building for a long time, it is wise to speak with a doctor or a licensed counsellor as well as a pastor.

One more thing worth saying: confession is not a place to be crushed. It is a place to be honest. The priest is there to help you name what is true and to point you to Christ. If you leave feeling lighter, that is not sentimentality. That is what forgiveness feels like when it is spoken out loud.

Before you go, read Psalm 51 slowly. Pray it as your own. Ask God to give you honesty and to prepare your heart. Then go, and afterwards keep walking with Him — in prayer, in Scripture, and among God’s people in a local church.

Questions people ask

Do I have to confess every sin at my first confession?

Catholic teaching requires confessing all grave sins you are aware of and have not yet confessed. Venial sins may also be confessed and are helpful to name. If you forget something, you are not guilty of a further sin — you can bring it to your next confession.

What if I have not been baptised or confirmed yet?

If you are preparing to enter the Catholic Church as an adult, you will normally make your first confession during that preparation, before receiving Communion. Speak with the priest or the person leading your preparation, and they will tell you when and how it will happen.

Can a priest tell anyone what I said?

No. The seal of confession is absolute in Catholic teaching. A priest may not reveal what he hears in confession to anyone, for any reason. This is why you can speak freely and without fear of it being repeated.

What if I am not Catholic — can I still confess my sins to God?

Yes. Scripture invites every believer to confess sins directly to God and to receive His forgiveness through Christ (1 John 1:9). Where you have wronged another person, it is right to go to them as well (Matthew 18:15).